I’ve recently been reflecting on the role that art has played throughout my mental health journey. I have always had a love hate relationship with being creative – I love creating something and feeling inspired but on the other hand I am my own worst critic in everything I do.
When I gave birth to my first son in 2017 I had a pretty rough ride, I had undiagnosed Pre-Eclampsia, which led to an Eclamptic seizure and HELLP syndrome, an emergency C-section and losing 5 days of my memory of this time. When I finally came home both my physical and mental health were at an all-time low. For a long time this was the tedious and repetitive reality of my journey into motherhood.
Around 10 months in I was diagnosed with postnatal depression, I started engaging with mental health services and I was encouraged to reconnect with something that I thought was long gone. When I gave myself the time and space to focus on creativity I found that it became a much needed escape from the darkness I felt suffocated by. The light started to creep back in and on the difficult days I knew exactly what I needed to do stop it from getting too dark again. Its developed over the years and now I’m able to use art as a way to express my emotions, rather than it just being a distraction, especially when the words won’t come.
When I started working for Mothers For Mothers I was told about the RHS Chelsea Flower Show garden, designed by Pollyanna Wilkinson, titled ‘This Too Shall Pass’. The garden represented a transition period for mothers from a place of despair to a place of hope. I was instantly inspired by this concept and I knew I wanted to include elements of the garden to create a piece that highlighted the life and beauty that can emerge after darkness. Creating this piece was a labour of love and being able to immerse myself into it allowed me to once again find peace in having a physical outlet for how I was feeling. When I started painting it I didn’t realise how much I needed this escape once again. Since finishing it I have started setting aside 5-10 minutes a day to paint or sketch and this really helps me regulate my feelings from the day. Even though I’m now at a point where I am able to function better day to day allowing myself this time helps me to sustain a better level of mental wellbeing.
When I visited our office last week I was stunned to see it up on the wall. As silly as it might sound I will never get used to the idea that someone would want something I painted up on display. I feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to have a project like this, it means so much to me on both a personal and a professional level.
‘This Too Shall Pass’ has been relocated to Hartcliffe City Farm and is available to the public to go and visit.